This guide belongs to 100 Ways To Be Being Remarkable Series, a special project that brings you business and self-development advice from The Success Manual.

Nothing draws a crowd like a crowd.
- P.T. Barnum

If you can't convince, confuse!
- Anon

If you're interested in obtaining something from someone else, always preface your request with "I have a favor to ask you" as people hate turning down favors.
- N. Bruce Ashwill

Reverse Psychology:
Where you start by agreeing with the proposition put to you. In other words, where you start by agreeing with everything opponent says and then work it backwards.

THE SIX PRINCIPLES OF PERSUASION

1. The Principle of Liking
People like those who like them- uncover real similarities and offer genuine praise.

2. The Principle of Reciprocity
People repay in kind – give what you want to receive.

3. The Principle Of Social Proof
People follow the lead of similar others – use peer power whenever it is available.

4. The Principle of Consistency
People align with clear commitments – make people’s commitments active, public and voluntary.

5. The Principle Of Authority
People defer to experts – expose your expertise; don’t assume it’s self-evident. Often, people mistakenly assume that others recognize & appreciate their experience.

6. The Principle of Scarcity
People want more of what they can have less of – highlight unique benefits and exclusive importance.

- Robert B. Cialdini, ‘Influence: Science & Practice’

If you want to convince others that your opinion is representative of the majority, then just repeat yourself.
This surprising psychology study finds that if one person in a group repeats the same opinion three times, it has 90% of the effect of three different people in that group expressing the same opinion.
- Psychology Study, Psyblog

The best defense against logic is ignorance.
- Anon

When somebody says “I am here to help you, hold on to your wallet.
- Forrest Gump

He who lives by the sword shall perish by the bullet.
– Anonymous

You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.
- Attributed to Abraham Lincoln

If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
- Anon

PROVEN WAYS TO BE PERSUASIVE: WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY STUDIES

1. The Power of Social Proof.
2. Relate to the audience in a way so that they see themselves in you
3. If you use the principle of negative social proof be careful not to indicate its prevalence because people will gravitate towards the norm
4. Negative behavior will adjust toward normal “magnetic middle” while positive behavior needs to be recognized and rewarded
5. Too many options are paralyzing
6. When you give something away you have to express its value otherwise it will be seen as cheap. This is true for gifts and for when you’re giving someone else your time.
7. High end framing - Having a high end line & a main line. The top line brings prestige & the main line seems like a compromise, and is attractively priced compared with the higher end model. People want a bargain. (Once you’ve made your primary service or product make one that is of higher quality but priced more steeply and it will improve overall sales)
8. Fear without a plan for action causes apathy
9. Generosity: Reciprocity is a more powerful incentive than money. People feel compelled to return favors.
10. Always add a personal touch
11. Do something significant, unexpected and personalized
12. Build reciprocation on trust rather than monetary incentives.
13. Willingness to return a favor declines over time
14. If you have a big request first get them to agree to a smaller request
15. Labeling - Label people with the traits you want them to show - “I know there is some good in you.”
16. Compliance Momentum - Ask a question and get them to say ‘yes’, if you want an action from them later
17. Active commitments - Get them to write something down
18. Identify with the person. Tell them you would have done the same thing in their situation. Guide them in a direction by saying how this fits with their previously stated values
19. One act of kindness is often followed by another - get someone to do a small favor for you - They’ll backwards rationalize that they like you.
20. “Every vote counts. OR Even a penny will help.”
21. Start bidding low, have low barrier for entry - frequency of bids equals more social proof, interaction and value
22. Always have 3rd party introduce you with your credentials. People will respect you, and assume your qualified. Never list your accomplishments yourself - this is boasting - you can put your awards on display on a slide and that is more indirect. Amusingly, even if the person is paid to speak positively on your behalf it still works
23. Don’t be the smartest person in the room, or if you are, ask for advice and collective input, though the decision can still be wholly yours. Collective decision making doesn’t really work there are too many differing opinions.
24. Have true dissenters, not just people playing Devil’s Advocate and you will have richer, more complicated discussion with more innovative solutions and conclusions. Leaders should encourage disagreement. If you don’t believe a person actually holds their opinion, a Devil’s advocate, then you don’t take it as seriously as someone who actually has good reason for their opinion.
25. Training should not focus solely on successful methods it should focus just as much on errors & common mistakes - you can learn from them and talk about how errors can be avoided
26. Admitting your weaknesses earns the trust for people to be willing to listen to your strengths
27. When you admit your weaknesses acknowledge the strength associated with it if there is one.
28. Take responsibility for your mistakes - faulting internal factors shows you had control over the situation but failed, where as when you place blame on external factors, it shows it is out of your control and could just as easily happen again. If possible describe a plan of action for how next time will be different
29. People love similarities with themselves - Examples: people are more likely to fill out a survey if the surveyor has the same name or birthday as them.
30. The amazing unconscious power of name similarity. Examples - Dennis is 40th most popular male name in US, Jerry & Walter are 39th and 41st. Searching in the directory of the American Dental Association there were 257 Walter’s, 270 Jerry’s and 482 Dennis’. People whose names are George or Geoffrey are disproportionately likely to be involved in geosciences. Hardware owners are 80% more likely to have names that start with the letter ”h“ than ”r“ but roofers are 70% more likely to have their name start with ”r“ than ”h“. People with their birthday on the second of a month are more likely to be living in a place called Two Harbors, Minnesota. Many Many more examples
31. Mirroring body language and repeating verbalizations increases rapport.
32. Be genuine. Find virtues in other people.
33. Point out scarcity, uniqueness, limited time, rarity, exclusivity
34. Risk aversion. People are more worried about potential losses than potential gains - pitch lost things as a missed opportunity. Loss aversion explains a lot of human behavior.
35. Always say ”Because“ helps for simple things even if you have a totally non-sequiter reason. But helps a lot if you have a good reason - Say why you are doing or asking for things
36. Generating persuasiveness by asking for reasons works only if its easy to come up with reasons - 3 may work 10 will not - You can use reverse on competition by asking customers to recall too many virtues about your competition. Also how easy someone can visualize going somewhere, doing something, or using something affects persuasion. This is all about fluency, we associate right and wrong with how easy something is to do.
37. Simple and pronounceable names do better than complicated, unpronounceable names. As does simple clear speech and good handwriting - Again, Fluency is the key concept here.
38. Rhymes are more fluently process and there for perceived to be more accurate, truthful and persuasive - ”If the glove doesn’t fit you must acquit“ or ”If the glove doesn’t fit you must find him not guilty“ ”Caution and measure will win you treasure“ or ”Caution and measure will win you riches“
39. Everything is relative, it is all about contrast - people feel more secure with more information. If you receive a lot of information about department store Brown’s and less about department store Smith’s you feel less favorable about smiths. But it doesn’t even need to be relevant if you hear a little info about Toyota and then a lot about Smith’s you feel good about Smith’s. If you heard more about Toyota’s than Smith’s you wouldn’t’ feel as good about Smiths.
40. People are more likely to help when you indicate you’ve already started and made initial progress - or give someone some bonus to get them started initially- momentum is the biggest hurdle - Instead of buy 8 and get the 9th free. Have it buy 10 and start it off with two.
41. Atypical unexpected names and descriptions with some ambiguity increase intrigue and persuasiveness.
42. Use memory aides - ex place stat about social norms for drinking on beer glass. Memory is context sensitive. The info needs to be there at the ”point of sale“ or action / scene of the crime
43. A mirror or another way of causing people to look at themselves makes them act more consistently with their values like honesty and trustworthiness. Wearing a name tag or displaying a name as similar effect - like at a meeting or an online handle - Also it doesn’t need to be a mirror it could just be a picture of some eyes.
44. When one is emotionally sad or down they are more likely to sell low and buy high. When people are emotionally charged in either direction, happy or sad they are likely to only pay attention to presence or absence of something, the magnitude makes no difference. Focusing on numbers increases rationality - be aware of your mood when making important decisions. Give time for emotions to subside to prevent carry over from your state. Put off deliberations if one party is under stress - they’ll perceive you as more empathetic.
45. Whenever someone makes a statement we accept it as true & can only reject it a fraction of a second later. But this takes more mental energy to falsify - this is harder to do when we are tired, or distracted. And it is even more persuasive if you momentarily distract someone by announcing the price in pennies and then say ”it is a bargain“ - ”during a moment of distraction a salesperson can stealthily insert a persuasive assertion under the radar. - In a study with people walking around during a bake sale people were more likely to purchase a cupcake if they referred to them as “halfcakes” rather than cupcakes but only when this was followed by the declaration “They’re delicious” .
46. Arguments are more persuasive when people are alert - so drink coffee and don’t present right after lunch - summarize your best points in the middle of the speech, for one because caffeine takes 40 min to take affect and halfway through they will reach peak alertness.
47. Emails don’t’ have non-verbal communication or intonation = less rapport - People misinterpret tone of an email and are less personal compared to face to face
48. Different strategies for different cultures - In the US it is important to pitch individualism. In Asian countries collectivism is more important and the value to the community
49. Individualists operate on personal consistency - Collectivists on peer consistency. To an Individualist say “thank you, you did well” to a collectivist say “ Thank you, you and your colleagues did great work”
50. Individualists are more concerned with conveying info, collectivists are more concerned about building and maintaining relationships - P.S. Collectivists hate answering machines.

- Summary of Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways To Be Persuasive by Noah J. Goldstein, Steve J. Martin, and Robert B. Cialdini

How to Get People To Do Things for You

Take Control Of Any Situation And Get Anyone To Take Action
1. Narrow someone's options before you present them to him (2 options is ideal)
2. Give a deadline
1. a task will expand or contract depending on how much time you allow for it
2. we don't like our freedom to be restricted
3. human being respond to that which is scarce
3. Engage the law of consistency by first having an individual commit to a smaller request. When we take a small step in one direction we are driven to maintain a sense of consistency by agreeing to larger requests.
4. Maximize inertia: get someone moving in the right direction either physically or mentally with something easy or fun
5. Law of Expectation: People will do what you expect them to do. take the appropriate corresponding physical action people will respond to you assuredness
6. Show that the task is simple and easy
7. Offer any small additional benefit for taking action now

Get Anyone to Take Your Advice
1. Most decisions are based on emotions. We then use logic to justify our actions. You must arouse emotions in your attempt to persuade.
2. Offer a specific game plan with a clear-cut course of action for proceeding.
3. Add to this how your idea will prevent negative or unpleasant consequences. This is more effective than explaining what someone will gain.
4. If true, remind him how he is in some way the one who first gave you the idea.
5. Let him know that this way of thinking is really consistent with who he is.
6. Don't come across as a "know-it-all"
7. Remember that enthusiasm is contagious.

Get a Stubborn Person to Change His Mind About Anything
1. Begin with the Crowbar Test to determine just how closed-minded someone really is. . . Tell them that you want them to agree to do what you ask, but only if you can achieve some highly difficult and amazing task. For instance, you tell someone to write down on a piece of paper a number from one to one hundred and if you can guess what it is then they will agree to what you want.
2. have them agree to a similar idea or a way of thinking that will negate their own objection later
3. restrict in some way their ability to do what you want and give them the opportunity to provide the solution
4. let them know hat you've been recently influenced by their ideas
5. adopt a two-sided argument to increase your credibility, being sure to present the evidence to support your position first
6. show them that they were in some way responsible for the idea in the first place
7. if the idea goes against their value system, change the parameters of the request, making the behavior acceptable.

Get Anyone to do a Favor for You
1. if you need something done in the near future, ask when they are not preoccupied with something else; if it is something that does not need to be done right away, ask as soon as possible
2. do something for them
3. avoid apathy by increasing personal responsibility by letting them know that you have no one else to turn to
4. include three components
1. specifically what you want
2. how they will in some way feel good about doing you the favor
3. the relative ease with which he can accomplish the task
5. focus on any elements of your predicament that were not your own doing
6. reshape their self-concept to include the idea that helping you is something that is consistent with who they are
7. knowing others "did the right thing" invokes the unconscious desire to do the same
8. if they feel threatened by your success you will not get cooperation; explain the situation as the two of you working toward a win/win
9. keep asking
10. follow steps in earlier section for "follow through"

- Adapted from How To Get Anyone To Do Anything, By David Lieberman

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