To decide if someone is the right one to marry, it takes a combination of love, commitment, shared values, and deep compatibility across several life domains. Here's a detailed checklist of considerations to help you make an informed decision:

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Core Foundations

Love and Respect
- Do you deeply care for each other’s happiness and well-being?
- Is there mutual respect, even during disagreements

Mutual Sacrifice
- Are you both willing to make sacrifices for each other’s happiness and goals

Trust and Fidelity
- Do you trust them completely?
- Have you discussed and aligned on boundaries regarding fidelity, pornography, flirting, and outside relationships

Communication
- Do you resolve conflicts constructively without trying to “win”?
- Are your discussions productive and respectful, even during disagreements

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Practical Considerations

Finances
- Are you aligned on spending, saving, and debt management?
- Have you discussed financial goals (e.g., homeownership, retirement)

Family Planning
- Are you on the same page about having kids, when, and how many?
- How will you handle potential challenges like infertility or unplanned pregnancies

Division of Labor
- Are you both comfortable with how household chores will be divided?
- Do you agree on the level of cleanliness and organization expected in your home

Career Goals
- How do your career ambitions align?
- Who will compromise if a job requires relocation or significant time commitments

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Values and Beliefs

Religion and Politics
- Can you respect and navigate differences in religious beliefs or political views?
- How will these differences impact raising children, if applicable

Family Dynamics
- How do you feel about each other’s extended family?
- How involved will family members be in your life and decision-making

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Lifestyle Compatibility

Hobbies and Interests
- Do you share at least one activity you enjoy together?
- Are you supportive of each other’s hobbies and personal time

Social Life
- Are your expectations for socializing with friends and family aligned?
- How do you handle disagreements about time spent apart or with others

Sexual Compatibility
- Are your sex drives and expectations aligned?
- Can you communicate openly about needs and boundaries

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Red Flags to Consider

• Are there behaviors that make you uneasy (e.g., excessive drinking, financial irresponsibility, boundary-pushing)
• Do they treat others (waitstaff, family, coworkers) with respect
• Do they exhibit controlling or manipulative tendencies

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Final Thoughts

Marriage is about growing together and staying aligned through life’s inevitable changes. Look for someone with whom you can:
- Navigate challenges as a team.
- Build a shared vision for the future.
- Feel supported, cherished, and respected.

When you’ve openly discussed and aligned on these areas, and your relationship is built on mutual love and understanding, then you’ll know you’re ready to take that next step.

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