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It's me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence.
- Paula Cole, "Me" This Fire

THE CONFIDENCE RULE
'If I ever felt inclined to be timid as I was going into a room full of people, I would say to myself, "You're the cleverest member of one of the cleverest families in the cleverest class in the cleverest nation in the world; why should you be frightened?"
- Beatrice Webb

Imagine they are all naked.
- when facing a crowd or audience

The greatest of all weaknesses is the fear of appearing weak.
- J.B. Bossuet, Politics from the Holy Writ, 1709

CONFIDENCE IN SEVEN STEPS
1. Note your positives: List special talents you have; list successes you have had
2. Think Positive: Be thankful for what you have.
3. Don't think about yourself too much.
4. Get out of your skin: Help others.
5. Be Yourself. You are the light and shine of earth.
6. Accept compliments gracefully with a smile and a "thank you".
7. Positive body language: Shake hands, don not slouch, stand erect, walk with a purpose, smile often.

LEAD WITH YOUR NAME.
EVERY time you meet someone lead with, "Hi, my name is John Smith." That will feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable the first 100 times you try it. DO IT ANYWAY.
- Marshall Brain, The Teenager's Guide to the Real World

HOW TO IMMEDIATELY INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE

1. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Too often, we place excess importance on potential problems. Instead of wasting our precious energy on worrying, take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don’t.

2. In doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it in the past.
Close your eyes, then vividly imagine you succeeding wildly at what you are really going to do for the first time.

3. Find someone who is already confident in that area and copy them.
Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in as you can

4. Use the “as-if” frame.
If you were confident, how would you be acting? How would you be moving? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself inside?

5. Go into the future and ask if what you’re faced with is such a big deal.
You’re reviewing your life. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.

6. Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for.
To get what you want, ask for it. Not necessarily true, but this a useful belief.

7. Disarm the nagging, negative internal voice.
Change the voice to a clown voice. The point is to disarm the voice by altering the way it nags at you.
- “Unstoppable Confidence” by Kent Sayre.

CONFIDENCE VS. ARROGANCE

Confidence is an understanding that you are OK and valuable. Arrogance is shouting it from the rooftops like you are the most important person in the world, and feeling that you are better than other people.

You do not have to be arrogant to be confident. They are completely different things. Most truly successful people have confidence but none of the arrogance.

- MARSHALL BRAIN, The Teenager's Guide to the Real World

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