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Do we need MBAs? Part 4: 7 True Reasons why people go to business schools

simplemba on 15/04/10 city: San-Fransisco tags: Education and Schools doweneedmbas  Comment: 0 Save: 0

Although I strongly believe Business Schools perpetuate a society of fake superiority, greed, needlessly complex language and inequality, that has never stopped people from choosing business schools as the easiest way to get a job.

Here is a quick summary of why people prefer business schools:

1. Proof that you can sit your way through boring shit: Peter Drucker said, "Since time immemorial, teachers have believed the ass is the greatest tool for learning: the more you sit, the more you learn." By going through a business school, you are telling your peers you can go through hell.

2. You understand the MBA jargon: MBA might after all help make you better communicators. Since, there is already a pool of jargon-spouting HR guys around, you stand a better chance of getting employment by showing you can deal in that nonsense too.

3. You have better access to market data: no need to harm your prospects in the chaotic, ever-changing real-field. Better, use market data on any industry to analyze problems of say, the housing industry. Perspective is a great teacher. Right.

4. You learn to master financial statements & business processes: May bless the guys at SAP and Oracle, who have nurtured the idea of 'processizing' everything. You have read the books so you can fix the business, right? You can manipulate the data too. MBA courses teach you all the nifty ratios, the loopholes used by fraudster along the ages. There isn't a better way to learn to fraud your way to the top, boss.

5. You learn there is a formula and study for everything: This is the best way to impress your boss. You almost seemed like a scientist in there when you proposed to do a Deming and overhaul meetings in your office.

6. You become the Jedi of Groupwork & etiquette: All those homeworks, case studies, group discussions, presentations, late night assignments have made you a master of slavework and people-to-people talk. Having grown up in an environment of talkative, bookish people, you have mastered the art of bullshitting your way out of any tight situation. You only need to talk about theory of 'delayed anabolic gratification'. For you groupthink is the only way out to business excellence. While governments form committees to look into disasters, as a MBA graduate, you will learn to order a brainstorm session ASAP.

7. You are able to make friends and impress employers: Employers love the MBA cachet. For them, there is no other person that can solve problems and hold the fort, just the MBA will do, thanks. You may not know what it takes to start a business, you may not know what makes people do what they do, rest assure you will get the huge salary that was promised to you.

Let me end this with this quote:

"If having an MBA is not going to be a pre-screening criteria, I wouldn't think it would be necessary that I have one, but it does seem to be more and more part of the screening process," he says. "If the determining factor in my career and where I go from here is whether or not I have a business degree, then that will be something I have to make time for."

Read more on this topic
Do we need MBAs - The Presentation
The Manager's Bible: 100+ Things That Every Manager Should Know

Have you looked at The Success Manual, The Encyclopedia of Advice? A list of all the articles from the guide on one page can be accessed here.

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