Never Eat Alone was written by master networker Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz.
Important lessons from the extremely useful book:
1. Bill Clinton used to jot down names and information about people he met in a little black address book he carried around with him… when asked why, he said “I’m going into politics and plan to run for governor of Arkansas… I’m keeping track of everyone I meet”… Clinton would make it a nightly habit to record, on index cards, the names and vital information of every person whom he’d met that day… the lessons we can learn from this:
(A) the more specific you are about where you want to go in life, the easier it becomes to develop a networking strategy to get there and
(B) be sensitive to making a real connection in your interactions with others.
2. 80 percent of building and maintaining relationships is just staying in touch.
3. When all else fails in small talk, say: “You’re wonderful – tell me more”
4. The best icebreaker is often a few words from the heart
5. You have about 10 seconds before a person decides, subconsciously, whether they like you or not… it is not a time to play hard-to-get, keep a distance, or play mysterious… we should take the initiative in creating the impression we want to give… smile and be the first to say hello, which demonstrates confidence and immediately shows your interest in the other person
6. Before you meet someone, find a point of common ground that is deeper and richer than what can be discovered in a serendipitous encounter… use resources like Google to do this
7. Be interesting… people tend to hire people they like… but also remember that people hire those they think can make them and their companies better… so be aware of what you have to say that others might benefit from you
8. Focus on your personal brand… I went out of my way to take on project no one wanted and initiated projects no one had thought of doing… I sent recommendations to the CEO… he never responded, but I never stopped sending those emails
9. To become a brand, you’ve got to become relentlessly focused on what you do that adds value… try to initiate projects on your own and in your spare time
10. Try to create buzz around your interests… think about how reporters can help you create buzz… the majority of journalists’ stories are from people who have sought journalists out, not the other way around
11. Start making calls to the reporters who cover your industry… have lunch with them… spend time reading their articles, figuring out what they cover, and what kinds of stories their publications like to run
12. Learn to be brief… pick the most interesting points about your story and make them fast, make them colorful, and make them catchy
13. Consider writing articles for publications… articles provide a terrific environment for meeting anyone anywhere… the odds will never be stacked so clearly in your favor… consider sharing credit and offering a byline to the person who becomes most helpful…. Welcome their co-authorship… by article’s end, whether it’s been published or not, you’ve managed to learn a great deal and to meet a group of important people who potentially might be important to your future
14. Reach out to the sort of important people that can make a difference in your life and the lives of others… seeking the influence of powerful people in our lives in not crass or misguided – it can be enormously helpful… the more accomplished the people we associate with, the greater our inspirations become
15. Trust is the essential element of mixing with powerful and famous people – trust that you’ll be discreet, trust that you have no ulterior motives behind your approach
16. Helping the organizer is a great way to meet people at conferences… contact the organizer in advance and tell them you are willing to devote a chunk of your resources – be it time, creativity or connections – to make the event a smash hit
17. Ask questions at conferences… a really well-formed and insightful question is a mini-opportunity to get seen by the entire audience… be sure to introduce yourself, tell people what company you work for, and then ask a question that leaves the audience buzzing
18. When meeting someone for the first time, focus on them… ask questions revolved around what the other person is thinking, what is troubling them
19. Try to connect with super-connectors… a disproportionate amount of super-connectors are headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, politicians, journalists, restaurateurs, and public relations specialists… these people can improve your network dramatically
20. In one study, 56% of people surveyed found their jobs through personal connections… of those personal connections that reaped dividends for those surveyed, few were good friends… in fact, often the most important people in our network are those who are acquaintances… this is what researchers call the ‘strength of weak ties”
21. Acquaintances represent a source of social power – the more acquaintances you have, the more powerful you are
22. Are there worlds you want more access to? If so, see if you can find a central figure within that world to act as your own one-person host committee
23. Small talk – the kind that happens between two people who don’t know each other – is the most important talk we do… those who can confidently make conversation with anyone in any situation tend to be more successful… the goal of small talk: start a conversation, keep it going, create a bond, and make the other person like you… small talk needs to end on an invitation to continue the relationship
24. When it comes to making an impression, differentiation is the name of the game… you differentiate yourself by being yourself… also, vulnerability can be a great way to differentiate yourself
25. Don’t cold call – ever… instead, make a warm call… try to get others to make a connection… four rules to warm calling: (1) convey credibility by mentioning a familiar person or institution, (2) state your value proposition how can I help you, (3) impart urgency and convenience by being prepared to do whatever it takes whenever it takes to meet the other person on his/her own terms, (4) be prepared to offer a compromise that secures a definite follow-up.
[From the Great Books Series. Also see The Success Manual - Encyclopedia of Advice, which contains summaries of 100+ Most useful books.]
