This guide belongs to 100 Ways To Be Being Remarkable Series, a special project that brings you business and self-development advice from The Success Manual.

Read Part 1, Dealing with Difficult and Angry people here

If you wish to understand democracy, spend less time in the library with Plato, and more time in the buses with people.
- Simeon Strunsky

Confront by telling the truth, gently. This either gets what you want, or helps the other person learn and grow.

And always say, “What I/the firm wants.......” not “What I/the firm does not want....”.

This is called positive confrontation.

Step 1: State clearly what you want.
Step 2: Explain clearly what effect the behavior has on you or others.
Step 3: Give a specific example.
Step 4: Ask for change (in which ways? – be specific)

Plan when and where the confrontation will occur – and, besides of examples of unacceptable behavior, mention a list of the person’s positive contributions too.

To save the offender’s face, you may decide to confront him in private (your office), and convey a confident, positive exterior.

In the end, ask the person to summarize –check that they have heard and interpreted you correctly, including the agreed action.
- Source: Andrew Leigh, 20 ways to Manage Better

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