This guide belongs to 100 Ways To Be Being Remarkable Series, a special project that brings you business and self-development advice from The Success Manual.
The wise man puts himself last and finds himself first.
- Lao Tsu
WHY WE MISUNDERSTAND
Misevaluation by even one party.
Misunderstanding in communication also occurs due to some wrong but common assumptions. Assumptions set off a chain reaction of misperceptions and negative feelings, which blocks communication.
FOUR REASONS WHY WE FAIL TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS
Fear,
Self-centeredness,
Failure to appreciate differences, and
Failure to acknowledge similarities
- Dr. John C. Maxwell, 'Relationships 101'
DON’T PRESUME… ASK!
How many times in life have we missed an opportunity, created a misunderstanding or just plain got it wrong because we presumed we knew what someone meant, was thinking or their motivation?
Ask questions that connect: “What’s going on for you around that?”, “What’s important to you in this?”.
Ask questions that clarify: “What is it you need me to understand?”, “What did you take from that?”.
Ask questions that go to the next level, that is, beyond their current strategy: “Is x,y,z really important to you in this situation?”
- Leona Dawson
THE LISTENING APPROACH
Aristotle called ‘Public Speech’ an attempt to force one person’s view forcibly on a majority.
To test the quality of your understanding ,the next time you get into an argument with your spouse, friend, or small group of friends, stop the discussion for a moment and suggest this rule: “Before each person speaks up, she/he must first restate the ideas and feelings of the previous speaker accurately and to that speaker’s satisfaction.”
Understanding the other party’s point of view can be applied in many situations.
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